Keeping up with the Coronavirus. Nitwit Nero gets snippy over a question about his response to it. Congressman challenges Dr. Fauci to fact-check Trump in real time to keep him being a vector for the transmission of deadly dumbassery. MAGAT broadcaster not worried about COVID-19; instead frets about the “Homovirus.” We learn where Corona Caligula got the notion that a vaccine is just around the corner. Gospel Sharp claims “honoring Israel” will keep America from being more than “marginally affected” by the pandemic; calls for the west coast to suffer for not being sufficiently theocratic fascists. Why are people hoarding toilet paper?