Category: Full Shows

Mercy, the stickers are from toes to tip-top today! The historical revisionism of Afghanistan is off the meter. “Y’all, they’re gonna do it again” came true . . . some more. “Two first names and a pick-up truck.” And tannerite. Because feeeeedummm. Anti-mask SoCaristan MAGAT yawps his last. Covid Caligula won’t even send a sympathy card. After all, that would be terribly awkward.

The password is: “decabination.” Praise! Glory! Kenneth Copeland assaults a handicapped “believer.” Hiding behind the first amendment, “prophet” declares vaccines are “demonic,” then gets COVID. Spreadnecks attack a WalMart pharmacy. WalMart lets them keep up the attack for a half hour. Tracee tells us how it’s done.

Run, chickenshit Afghan beards, RUN, you goddamned cowards! Granted, you never heard of Shakespeare, but “a hero dies but once. A coward dies a thousand deaths.” Die ’em all, you gutless beards!

Afghanistan. It exposed our foreign policy failings and now it’s exposing the Alzheimers-like memories of the ForProfit Media. Also: a wonderful conversation with Carol Baker, Queen of the Minions.

COVID burns Floridastan. The fire spreads to Georgiastan. Ron Monkey-up DeKlantis cancels a pseudo campaign trip to Vegas because he set his state afire. The Great ForProfit Media Hand-Wring. P.S. Murder Hornets redux.

“Bird guts all over the place!” Tennestan mom takes school board un-mandatory mask “mandate” to task. 

A bad joke for the last time. When reality outstrips the jokes, stick with reality. Ack! The breathtaking stupidity of one of America’s most inexplicable millionaires: “The Joe Rogaine Dunning-Kruger Experience.” And yet, as venerable a journalistic icon as The Atlantic proves itself more than capable of clickbait dreck. 

Rand Paul, Liberturdian Opfamologist proves (once again!) why he may well be, after Nitwit Nero, the most despicable attempt at a human being in the United States. The Delta variant of COVID-19 is attacking children with far more virulence than the original virus. Yet Little Miss Three Names cheered people in Talabama for NOT getting the vaccine. Also: we receive another dispatch from Paul from Parts Unknown. Eventually, we get around to discussing the new hair-on-fire-because-the-planet’s-on-fire climate change report. 

Run and hide. The COVIDiots are on the loose, alongside their sidekick, the Delta Variant.

 

Hey! We finished the week $235 from being fully funded for the first week of August. Wanna help? The community woule love you forever if you did!

Every now and then we have to have a conversation about ideological purity in our community. It wasn’t what I had planned for the program, but that’s mostly where we wound up. Also: Richard Trumka, President of the AF of L-CIO suddenly passed away at 72, Another stupid anti-vax MAGAT learns the meaning of “Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes.” And every day, we find out just how close we came to losing everything to the vanity and toxic psychopathology of Nitwit Nero.

COVID is punishment for the LGBTQ+ community. The vaccine is Satan’s Serum. Baptist Youth Pastor spreads COVID, then dies. Xtian broadcaster infects staff, blames liberals. Welcome to Prayer Meetin’ Wednesday and all the madness that is American EVILgelical Xtianity.

Titanic Tuesday finds us pondering the perviness of NY Governor Andrew Cuomo, the homicidal negligence (at best) of Floriduh Governor Ron “Monkey Up” DeKlantis, the bioterrorism of the Tennestan Speaker of the House, among a host of topics. And the password is: “vellum.”-

Hey, y’all! Let’s say it together! PODBEAN SUCCCCCCCCKS! PODBEAN SUCCCCCCCKS!
But we’re back after our time in the Chinese Communist Party-owned wilderness. At least we still have our kidneys.  By the way, did I mention that PODBEAN SUCCCCCCCKS? I wasn’t sure. 

Epic! Sports stories that aren’t about sports. Anti-vaxxers assault a cancer center in L.A. Governor Mee-Maw gets hardass (a day late and a few million doses short) on the COVIDIOTS in Talabama. And one of the most free-wheeling Front Porches EVAH! Details of the HORN-In.

Unfortunately, we finished unfunded for Thursday and Friday. In order to keep the last week of the month from starting in a deeeeep hole, we need to raise $455 to finish this week.

Today in Treason. Today in Covidiocy. Today in Confederate Defenders. Today in Hey, We Won One. Today in Things HIPAA doesn’t mean. 

The funding hole is deep: $1,025 going into Friday on the Front Porch. This self-sustaining community is grateful for every bit of support!

After only a couple of live services, the Cathedral of Common Sense (which is every bit as fake as every other religion) has (unlike other fake religions) shut down again to stop the spread of the Delta variant. At least the Deacons are happy. Still, what a program! Sure: taking down Randy Paul, Liberturdian Opfamologist is easy, but WOW!

A long time ago, Kurt Vonnegut wrote a short story entitled “The Great Space F**k,” only without the asterisks. Today, a near-trillionaire from a planet with millions of starving people on it, rode a giant, penis-shaped rocket to space just as hundreds of others have done before, but returned convinced he was some sort of a hero. Kurt Vonnegut, meanwhile, though dead, proves to be a prophet. PBUH. 

“Y’all, it’s gonna happen again.” I mean, like, y’know, there’s evidence, and stuff.

Such a Friday!